Caffeine Pills is the New Starbucks

In these tough economic times, it's important to find ways to save money.  If you can save some cash on your unnecessary drug addictions, that's even better!

I was sick and wretching the day after taking too many caffeine pills during a half IM when I had a revelation.  Why do I need to drink coffee anymore to feel like crap when I can just take the pills?  I tried it for a week and here's my superbly scientific analysis:

1. For the price of one Starbucks latte verde tall mega half creamer vanilla chocolate mocha blah blah I can buy THIRTY SIX caffeine pills.
2. Whenever I try to quit caffeine, I get mild depression, low motivation, and the work ethic of a typical self-entitled American teenager.
3. These pills have a little half-dose mark on them that allows you to crack them and pop just half.  That's all I need because I get sick on more than that.  We triathletes are obsessive about exact measurements.  You can imagine the little jig I did when I saw those lines and cracked the pill in half.  "Walgreen's shoppers... Dancer on aisle 9!"
4. My dreams are more awesomer.  Lightsaber fights with chipmunks, a jet engine for an anus, epic lovemaking with a 16-sided skyscraper?  You name it, I've done it.
5. Huge time savings.  While you sit around making your coffee in the AM, I just roll over and pop a pill.  Next thing I know, I'm halfway to Vegas and swatting invisible bats in the desert.

Hey, don't you judge my pill-popping if you drink coffee or take vitamins.  Technically, everything you put in your body is a drug, Spicoli.  You're probably just jealous I thought of it first.

My New Car Smells Like Butt (And other Tidbits)

Ok, time to catch up with the world and post what's new.  I haven't had time to post to the old bloggity-blog lately, but now I'm all caught up and can do it right.  There's a big backlog, so here goes -

• My son spilled a ton of milk in my new Honda Element.  Yeah, it's got wipeable plastic floors, but milk is a liquid and seeped into everything.  My ride now smells like week-old protein drink left in the sun.
• I screwed up my run on my Half-IM by taking too much caffeine.  Man, I felt SICK.  Like, poisoned.  Don't do what I did.
• I built an improvised bike rack tray out of bamboo.  This was pretty cool and worked just fine.  McNitt on twitter called it "Tiki Redneck", which pretty much summed it up.
• I decided to start training for the King of Jester bike race in Austin next Spring.  It's about a 3 minute long bike race up a 20% grade.  The race should be short (which is great) but the training should be long (even better).
• Brian Brode is Twittering the St. Pete's triathlon as it happens.  He was asked by the event organizers to be the official twitter-er... er.  Pretty cool.
• Holistic Guru and I recorded our first "bit" for the next episode of Zentri.  We talked about natural alternatives to gels.  It will be up for your listening pleasure very soon.
• Paul Both gave me some songs of his to play on the next show.  We love Paul because he's a triathlete and his music makes us feel a little scared.
• Holistic Guru and I brainstormed the most awesome Zentri idea yet.  I told her that she should have a "Spend the day with somebody that will show you how to eat right" and she turned it right around and said that I should have a "Spend the day with Brett the Zentri Way."  Participants would come to Austin (or College Station if you are weird like that) and would train with me all day, the Zentri way.  I would have to charge a few bucks to cover my cost of the day, but it sounds like tons of fun and possibly set it up as a regular thing.  Swim at Barton Springs, bike some hills, visit some tri shops, run some trails, and do some Zen sitting... that kind of fun.  Let me know in the comments or send me an email or twitter message if you're interested!

Review - Ironman 70.3 New Orleans

Simply put, this race was one of the best I've ever done.  If you are looking for a PR and a professionally executed, scenic venue, New Orleans should be at the top of your list.

I must admit that I had my reservations about this event.  The city had been devastated by Hurricane Katrina, I'm not a big fan of the price charged for official Ironman events, and the hoops you have to jump through for a venue to handle such a large volume of people can be a real pain - specifically IM Wisconsin's transition area nuttiness.

IMNO had almost no issues to make me regret this race.  Even though I felt like I would rather be dead at the end of this thing, I was simply blown away at how awesome it was.  I put together a list of pluses and minuses to help you decide if you want to do it yourself.

What was good -

• The swim course was along a wall.  No swimming aimlessly and looking forward for a buoy.  Just look to your right at the shore.  Perfect.
• Wave starts.  Thank you!
• The transition area was executed perfectly.  Plenty of room, stuff right next to your bike, it just flowed.
• The bike course was flat and super safe.  A completely closed off course?  Flat?  It was like a dream come true.  Wind can be an issue, sure, but I think this course would be great even if it was dumping rain.
• The run course was flat and went along the shore, a great park, and into the French Quarter.  Talk about scenic! 
  
• Free GOOD beer at the end and a real party zone.  Abita beer in the French Quarter?  That's really experiencing the local faire.
• Volunteers were where you needed them, but never in your way.  Want out of your wetsuit? Done.  Water instead of gatorade, gatorade instead of water? Unlike a lot of races where the volunteers don't know or care what liquid they are handing you, these knew that it actually mattered.
• Knowing that you were helping out a community in need.  New Orleans is still suffering from the hurricane.  The locals were happy to see us there spending cash.

What was bad -

• Holding the pre-race meeting and packet pickup in the densest part of town.  Crowded, hectic, and not necessary.  Why not have it in a building on the same campus where the swim and transtition area was?
• I had no idea where the buses were to get back to the transition area after the race.  I eventually caught a ride with some guys who took pity on me.  My friend said he had to walk about half a mile to find the buses.  Maybe they told us where they were, but I never caught that.  There should be a big sign at the finish saying, "BUSES - THIS WAY!"  Sheesh!
• Only allowing athletes to enter the transition area before the race from one side, not both.  My friend and I walked down to the water to check out the lake.  When we turned around to go back to our bikes we were told by some tool really great guy that we couldn't go back in.  No, we had to walk a quarter mile back around to the other entrance.  So there we were, with our bracelets on indicating we were racers, being told that we couldn't get back into the same area we just walked out of.  On top of that, the guy said "I've been standing here all day saying to people leaving that you can't go back in."  Really?  Really?  Because we just walked out of the transition area and you never said a thing to us.  Simply stupid.  Fix this.
• Crazy rules that differ from USAT to Ironman.  4 bike lengths between racers instead of 3. Keeping your torso covered at all times...  C'mon people, let's get this crap worked out.  We really don't care who's winning this powerplay tug of war, we just want to race.
• Parts of town can be a little scary, but it's really no big deal.  Huge sections of New Orleans that are still wrecked by the hurricane and some shady-looking folks can be a little intimidating, but it was just fine.  The people were all super nice and we had no problems.  Use Google Maps on your iPhone to get around so you don't get lost and you'll stay on track.

PODCAST - Mellow Johnny is Surfing Zen

CLICK HERE to download and listen!

In true whirl-wind fashion, I take you to Austin for a visit to interview staff at Lance Armstrong's bike shop, then surfing at Matagorda Island, then back to Austin for a day at the Austin Zen Center.

Eileen at Mellow Johnny's gave me a great interview and then I almost caught Lance there the very next day.  After that, I take you with me to get beaten down in 4 to 6-foot waves in a true ocean tempest for half the day.  Finally, I go on (and on) about what I learned about Zen and how to apply it to triathlon from spending hours and hours at a real Zen event.

All of this is very good stuff!  Check out some of the pictures below from the past couple of weeks during my tour of Texas. 

CLICK HERE to listen

Exclusive! Up-close pic of Armstrong's wrecked bike!

My iPhone nearly spontaneously combusted just before lunch today with everybody trying to tell me that Lance Armstrong was in Austin, at his bike shop, and just a few blocks from where I was eating.  Lance had posted on Twitter that he was there to do some interval workouts, so I tried to get over there before he left to get a possible interview for the podcast.

Turns out, I missed him by a couple of hours.  But, I was chatting with the store staff when I noticed a very interesting bike behind the counter.  They confirmed that it was indeed the bike Lance wrecked on.  You can click on it to see the full-size image.

At first glance, it seemed like the handlebars were bent sideways and the hoods shoved down in some horrible warping blow.  But, that's actually probably from them loosening the stem and bars and turning it all sideways to make it flatter for shipping back to the USA.

If there's any real damage, I can't see it.  Check out the bigger picture for yourself and see if you can pick anything out.

It will undoubtably get hung up in the store along with all his other bikes that have special memories.  You really should drop in sometime to check the place out.  It is one of the greatest shops I've ever seen.